It would be pretty easy for my posts to be negative. It is definitely hard to freelance full-time. I admit I struggle a lot of the time and question whether or not I should be doing this. The thing I have to remember is that it’s worth the struggle.
It’s worth the anxiety.
It’s worth the unknown.
It’s worth the pain.
It’s worth it all because I get to take my son to the swimming pool at times during the day that most dads can’t. It’s worth it because my wife and I can take mid-day walks.
It’s worth it because my family shares it with me.
At times I feel what I receive as pressure to “make it happen” from my wife, but the more I look into her heart the more I see that she’s just rooting for me. She’s invested in me. She cares. Sure I could go find another 9-5 job and bring in steady income again, but she sees the bigger picture. She sees what really matters.
This week I had little success landing a project. I don’t like that feeling. It’s scary.
What did happen this week that I’m thankful for:
Jake and I went to the pool multiple times.
Our friends brought their kids over to swim with Jake.
I had dinner at my in-laws and simply enjoyed each other’s presence.
Amy, Jake, and I went for a walk to the playground and we watched Jake make a couple new friends.
I had an amazing conversation with a friend about life, faith, and everything else.
I started drawing again.
I started doing my daily renders again.
All these things matter.
I have no doubt that projects will come and my time will be taken more and more for work, but the things that matter will have a place. Maybe that’s why this struggle is so worth it. Maybe it’s simply instilling the importance of the little things.